Resiliency: Getting up, bouncing back and moving forward

You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. Please remember that your difficulties do not define you. They simply strengthen your ability to overcome. – Maya Angelou

According to the American Psychological Association, resiliency is the process and outcome of adapting to difficult life challenges. How exactly do people adapt to the many challenges that life throws their way, and are there strategies that we learn that help us navigate these challenges? We all know individuals who we would consider to be more resilient and who seem to be able to bounce back from their difficulties. What we often do not see, however, is that these individuals may practice or have learned how to mitigate life’s obstacles by practicing certain skills. Several strategies people use to bounce back and move forward are the following:

For example, I am uncomfortable with others touching me. I would appreciate you speaking to me without putting your hand on my shoulder.

• Meditation or mindfulness – focusing on the present and being aware of your body and its many sensations. Keeping your mind focused on your breath as you rid your mind of the many busy thoughts that interfere with this focus takes practice. Many cultures practice meditation in their daily rituals whether through prayer, supplication, and doing good actions.
• Positive self-talk or affirmations – do not berate or belittle yourself for your feelings or mistakes made. Be kind to yourself. We are often our worst critics, and the voice that we hear berating ourselves is a stern parent. Making mistakes and learning from them are part of living; we need to learn to replace the stern, judgmental parent’s voice with our own accepting and loving voice.
• Recognizing irrational thoughts – we often have unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others. We need to recognize when our thoughts are distorted in either catastrophizing or in all-or-nothing thinking so that we can replace these thoughts with more realistic ones.
• Inoculation – just as we inoculate ourselves to prevent illness, we can prepare ourselves in preparation for unexpected challenges in life by staying healthy, maintaining social connections, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.
• Healthy habits – eating well, sleeping well, and exercising help people maintain a sound body and mind when they experience difficult challenges. People who engage in unhealthy habits have a harder time staying resilient.
• Support network – having a support network to help us through rough times helps us develop resiliency.

If you find that you or someone you care about is having difficulty moving forward after facing adversity, please contact me at Nafsology Psychology Center for a consultation on what you can do to move forward.

Psychology Center.